


I think I'm a banshee

by Sheeps



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, High School, Human AU, More tags to be added, NOT an asylum, Schizophrenia, Slow Build, Therapy, allison and lydia aren't together in the first chpt but it's working up to that, human verse, mental health, mental illnesse, pyschotic!lydia, schizophrenic!Lydia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-10 05:49:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4379633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheeps/pseuds/Sheeps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Human au where Lydia is schizophrenic.<br/>This is about Lydia dealing with her mental illness and about her telling her friends.<br/>The first person she tells is Allison and it comes out by mistake but Allison is her best friend so what could go wrong?</p><p>This will eventually become Allydia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Lydia doesn't quite know when this all started.

If she had to guess she'd say that it was during her first year of high school maybe a little after, everything's a little blurry so she can't be a hundred percent sure but what she is sure of is that she's schizophrenic.

 

She was diagnosed a few months ago, after an an appointment with a psychologist that her therapist had scheduled because the that fact that she heard and saw things that other people didn't was worrisome but it wasn't as if her hallucination were a constant thing, still they happened and it was why she'd been in therapy for two years because of it--well technically she started going to therapy before her hallucinations started (or at least she thinks she did it gets confusing sometimes) she first started going when her grades started dropping because she was unable to focus and when she started having trouble keep up with personal hygiene but 

Lydia had always been able to play off her hygiene problems rather well.She’d do her hair in ways that hide the grease, sprayed dry shampoo in her hair, and made sure to do her makeup because people had an expectation of her and she knew that.

 

Lydia was still trying to figure out if she wanted to tell her friends about her diagnosis because;    
1\. she didn't want them to pity her and   
2\. she didn't want them to think she was "crazy" even though she sort of was.

 

She knew that if she told everyone Stiles would just give her a sad look and Scott would look awkward and unsure of what to say and Allison would probably try to say something comforting but she didn't need comforting so she kept quite.

 

Well until tonight. Allison was sleeping over and her place when Lydia started to hear soft music play.

 

"Do you hear that?" Lydia asked.

 

"Hear what?"

 

"The music playing." Allison gave her a confused look before answering: "no...are you okay?" Allison asked and Lydia wasn't quite sure of what to say. How could she brush this off and make it seem like no big deal. Could she even do that?

 

"I'm fine." Lydia said but Allison didn't look like she believed her. Signing lydia frowned. "If you can't hear it then it's probably a hallucination. No big deal." Lydia explained with a flip of her hair.

 

"No big deal? Lydia hallucination are a huge deal! You could be really sick have you seen a doctor? You should go to one."

 

"Don't freak out Allison. Like I said it's no big deal. I'm..." Lydia hesitated was she really going to tell Allison? "I'm schizophrenic." Lydia finished and for a few moments Allison was quite. Probably figuring out what to say.

 

"Oh...since when?"  Lydia supposed that this is an okay reaction.

 

"I got diagnosed a few months ago, been showing minor symptoms for a few years." Lydia shrugged. A worried look appears on Allison face (again).

 

"Why didn't you tell me? Does anyone else in our friend group know? You know you can always talk to us if you're dealing with anything."

 

Lydia shakes her head. “No I haven’t told anyone else in our group yet.” Allison’s expression changes from worried to sad and Lydia braces herself for some sort of lecture from Allison. Allison is sort of the mamabird of the the group after all. Always looking out of everyone one.

 

“If you don’t want me to tell anyone else I won’t but I’m always here to talk. You're my best friend after all.” Allison smiled and takes a hold of Lydia’s hands, cupping them in her own.   
Well that was not what Lydia was expecting but it was nice to hear.   
It would probably be good to be able to talk to someone else about what she was experiencing who wasn’t a doctor or her Mother who never knew what to say when Lydia brought up any of her schizophrenic symptoms.

 

“Okay.” Lydia smiled back. “Let’s go to sleep now though. It’s getting late.” Allison nodded in agreement and laid down in Lydia’s bed. They had taken to sleeping side by side since they had started having sleepovers because it was easier then taking out a blow up mattress every time Allison came over, which was often.

  
Closing her eyes Lydia ignored the music the soft acoustic music that was playing and let herself drift to sleep beside her best friend on her bed.


	2. The morning after

Lydia wakes up before Allison which is a rarity because Lydia likes her sleep but then again they had been up rather late last night so deciding to let Allison sleep Lydia heads to the bathroom that connects to her room to get ready for the day.    
  


Lydia brushes her teeth, washes her face then begins to braid random strains of her hair, mostly around the crown of her head before tying all her hair up into a sort of messy bun. It helps hide the grease in her hair because she hadn’t showered in a few days and it’s also a rather cute hair style.    
She’s been doing it a lot lately… Not showering... Showering just takes too much energy and the last time she had showered the water had turned black and she had found clumps of hair blocking the drain, it had been terrifying so Lydia had been avoiding showering ever since, despite knowing that it was unhealthy.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Lydia emerges from her bathroom Allison is sitting up in her bed and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.   
“ ‘Morning sleepy head.” Lydia smiles and Allison yawns, stretching her arms over her head. “You got up early.” Allison observes. Lydia chuckles.    
  


“Actually it’s the other way around. You’re getting up late. It’s almost ten.” Lydia says, tilting her head towards the digital clock on her bedside table.   
  


“Really?” Looking towards the clock it reads 9:47am in bright red.  How odd . Allison thinks to herself. Usually she doesn’t sleep in past eight at the latest but she’d been up late last night and not just because this was a sleepover but because she had spent quite a bit of time thinking about Lydia and what she had told her.

 

“Well now that you’re awake do you want to go down stairs and make some breakfast? I’m thinking crepes and eggs?” Lydia asks but Allison knows better than to think  that it’s an actual question so she nods. Lydia grins, obviously pleased to get what she wants.    
  


“Then let’s go.” Lydia says, exciting her bedroom. Allison is quick to follow.

 

They’re both relatively quiet as the cook, only speaking when needed.    
Lydia doesn’t know why but she’s feeling slightly on edge today, maybe because she had told Allison her secret last night. Was it a secret? Sort of...She hadn’t really told anyone besides her doctors and her mom who didn’t count and the definition of a secret was something no one else knew, something you couldn’t tell anyone.

 

Lydia’s hear’s Allison say something but her brain doesn’t register it. Allison sounds far away.   
“What?” Lydia asks?    
  


“I said: do you want to talk about what you told me last night?” Allison repeats.    
Lydia takes a moment to think about it.    
  


Did she want to talk about? She was pretty sure that a part of her had told Allison because she wanted someone to talk about to it who wasn’t a professional, but where would she even begin?  There are so many things she could say. Lydia’s sure that it would take her hours to tell Allison everything about her experience with mental illness. Plus she’s afraid that if she dumps everything on Allison if will scare her away.   
It was why she was so hesitant to tell everyone in their little group.   
  


“Uh…” Lydia says, sounding unsure of herself which is rare. She never hesitates when she speaks.    
Lydia always try’s to to be confident in herself and what she says but this is different.    
This isn’t school work or fashion, it’s about herself and inside she’s a mess inside of so many feelings and thoughts.    
Even though she always seems so sure of herself Lydia never sure of herself, or her own feelings. She fakes it half of the time and she’s been faking it a lot more lately.    
  


“Please don’t tell anyone.” Lydia says. There are too many options of what she could say so she just goes with that.    
Allison nods. “Of course.” She says. “I wont tell anyone, not if you don’t want me to. I told you that last night.” She says and Lydia wonders if that was what Allison was expecting to hear, or what she wanted to hear. Allison’s more into talking about feeling then she is.    
Sure Lydia love’s have a good cry with her bff about stupid boys or how Allison’s dad can be a fucking asshole sometimes but this is different.   
  


“I’m fine right now. So stop worrying about me.” Lydia says. “If I’m going through something and I need someone to talk to I’ll come to you but my hallucination last night was no big deal. It was just soft music playing it wasn’t rock n’ roll or anything. Now eat your breakfast.” Lydia says, putting two plates on the marble island in the middle of her kitchen.

 

Allison complies and eats her breakfast. She stays over for a couple of more hours, they do their homework together then Allison leaves just a little after twelve, telling Lydia that she’ll see her tomorrow. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chpt is going to be more interesting and more things will happen I promise!!


	3. They're werewloves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia has an episode at school and needs Allison to help her through it

Lydia still feeling on edge by the next day and she’s not quite sure why but she has an inkling it’s about the fact that she had told Allison that she’s in schizophrenic. It’s like when she goes to therapy then comes home upset even if it was a good session.   
Talking triggers her sometimes. She wished it didn’t but it does which is why Lydia avoids talking about being schizophrenic & her feelings most of the time.

 

On the bright side she manages to wash her hair this morning. The feeling of grease in her hair is getting unbearable and also harder to hide. Carefully styled hair and dry shampoo can only go so far so she washes her hair in the sink, still avoiding the shower but her hair is clean and that’s what matters right? After she washes her hair Lydia goes through the motions of her morning routine; she get’s dress, does her makeup, eats a small breakfast and then she leaves and meets Allison ten minutes before class by her locker.

 

It feels nice to have her hair clean for the first time in 4 days.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Even though she woke up feeling slightly on edge Lydia has a feeling that today’s going to be a good day.    
She washed her hair after all and any day she does that is a good day. 

 

Lydia can’t be anymore wrong.   
  


She see’s Scott’s eyes flash gold in first period then things just fall apart. She’s unable to focus. She can’t understand a word any of her teachers are saying, and she can’t shake the feeling that Scott wants to kill her, or eat her, or whatever it is that werewolf’s do.    
  


As soon as the bell rings signaling that it’s time to switch classes Lydia leaves her classroom as fast as she can. She doesn’t want to be near Scott right now.    
Lydia knows she’s being illogical, she knows she having a episode but that doesn’t mean that she can just convince herself that everything’s okay so when Lydia sees Allison in the hallway she grabs her by her hand.

 

“Come with me.” Lydia demand, not waiting for an answer she just pulls Allison towards the girls bathroom. Once checking that no one was in the bathroom Lydia locks the door (why the bathroom has a lock on the door she doesn’t know why, but she’s going to use it to her advantage). 

 

“I need you to talk me down.” Lydia explains and begin to walk back and forth.

 

“Talk you down from what? Are you okay?” Allison asks. She sounds both confused and worried at the same time.  

 

Lydia stops pacing and looks straight at Allison. “They’re werewolves.” She knows how crazy she must sound but to her this is real.

 

“Who are werewolves?” 

 

Lydia starts to pace again. She can’t just stand still. It doesn’t feel right.

 

Just then there’s a knock on the bathroom and a voice calls through the door. “I need to go to the bathroom.” 

 

“Find another bathroom.” Lydia snaps back and there’s no response, the girl on the other side of the door must have left but she can feel herself beginning to freak out more. They know she’s in here!   
  


“Scott, Boyd, Erica, Isaac.” Lydia lists and as she passes Allison well pacing back and forth she gets a glimpse of the expression Allison’s currently wearing. It makes Lydia feel bad. Allison looks so lost and overwhelmed. Lydia wonders if she should have said anything. Allison did tell her that she could talk to her when she needed someone but maybe this is a bit much?

 

“You think Scott is a werewolf?” Allison almost starts to laugh but she stops herself when she remembers what she had read on the internet last night. Telling someone who’s in the middle of a psychotic episode that they’re delusions-- or beliefs aren’t real can agitate the person and just make things worse so she doesn’t laugh or tell Allison that Scott isn’t a werewolf.

 

“I know I sound crazy, a part of me knows that he’s probably not a werewolf but---UGH! He is, okay!? I saw his eyes glow! He was looking straight at me when his eyes flashed gold. He knows that I know.” Lydia rants.

 

Allison nods. “Okay.” She agrees. “I believe you.” She really hopes that that’s the right thing to say.    
Once again Lydia stop pacing to look at Allison. She looks shocked.

 

“You do?” Lydia asks, raising an eyebrow at the other. Allison nods again. “You said you saw his eyes glow. I believe you.”

 

“You’re not just saying that because you pity me or something?” Lydia narrows her eyes at Allison. Whenever she talked about this to her mom of therapist they either tried to convince her that she was wrong or go on and on about how she has a different reality than other people and yes what she’s experiencing is real but also it’s not because it’s only real to her.    
She knows when her therapist says stuff like that she’s just trying to validate her and her experiences but most of the time it just annoys Lydia.

 

“I’m not just saying that because I pity you. I don’t pity you Lydia. I’d never be able to do that.” I’m saying this because I care about you.  Allison thinks to herself. She’s telling Lydia that she believes her because he doesn’t want to upset the other anymore then she obviously is. So technically she’s not lying.   
  


“What should we do?” Allison asks, referring to the werewolf predicament. 

 

Lydia’s stumped by the question because she doesn’t actually know what they should do. Usually when she’s like this she just ends up having a melt down and crying because her mother telling her that  ‘this is all just in her head ’ feels so patronizing and always upsets her even more than she already is.

 

“Maybe we should just leave.” Allison suggests when Lydia doesn’t respond to her question. “We’ve missed half of fourth period. There isn’t really a point in staying her.” Allison points out, plus she doesn’t really think that school is where Lydia should be right now. Not when she obviously doesn’t feel safe here.

 

Lydia takes a moment to think about it, there are both down and upsides to leaving. A down side is that people will notice if she’s gone and start to wonder and she doesn’t like when people gossip about her (at least not when it’s bad things) the upside is that she doesn’t want to be anywhere near Scott and his pack because ,she doesn’t know what he’s plotting. She doesn’t know if she’s in any danger yet.So leaving seems like the best option.

 

“You drive.” is Lydia’s reply. Taking her car keys out of her purse she hands them to Allison before unlocking the door to the girls bathroom and heading to the parking lot.    
Lydia curls up in the passenger seat of her car well Allison drives her home.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Lydia gets home she makes sure all the door and windows in her house are locked. It makes her feel a little more safe even if she’s still on edge she calmed down a bit during the drive home.    
Allison helps check the doors too.    
  


On the car ride over Allison had said that she’s stay with Lydia for a long as she needed her too so now they’re curled up in the couch, Lydia wrapped in a blanket while watching some boring romcon.

 

They talk for a bit and Lydia explains how she knows Scott, Boyd, Erica and Isaac and werewolves. Allison just sits and listens, nodding her head at every so often and saying a few words here and there. It makes Lydia feel a lot better to have someone listen to her sincerely. Lydia cries a little at one point which is a little embarrassing for her but she’s with Allison so he doesn’t mind too much. 

 

“It must be scary.” Allison says. “To know things other people don’t know and to not have them believe you.” Lydia nods. Their conversation ends there for a while.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Sorry.” Lydia apologies suddenly, having not said a word for the past twenty minutes.

 

“For what?

 

“For dragging you into this...Mental illness isn’t exactly the most fun thing in the world.” Lydia dralls dryly, things feel a little more clearer now and she’s start to doubt that Scott’s and everyone are actually a werewolves. “I freaked out in front of you. You didn’t need that.” Lydia says.

 

“I don’t mind, Lydia. You’re my best friend. I may not know a lot about schizophrenia but I want to be there for you when you need me.” 

 

A soft smiles appears on Lydia’s face and she rests her head on Allison’s shoulder. “...Thanks.” Lydia says but really means:  ‘I love you’.    


 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happened!!! More drama next chapter (probably) !!
> 
> This chapter ended up being 3 1/2 pages long. Wow. The last two were 1 1/2 pages long. Also I probably wont be posting a chapter EVERYDAY like I have been but I want to post at lest once a week.  
> Allydia has just been my muse lately.


	4. Chapter 4

Lydia goes to school the next day and everything’s okay. She goes through her morning routine, talks to Allison by their lockers, then she shows off in math class because she’s smart and in her second year of high school Lydia had decided that there was no point in hiding it anymore. If anyone had a problem with her being smart AND pretty then they obviously weren’t worth her time.    
Besides she’s proud of how smart she is. She can read and speak both Early Latin and Archaic Latin, not many people have that talent so she hold her head up high even if yesterday hadn’t been a good one.

No ones even asks where she was yesterday--well besides Stiles and Scott but that’s a given. Lydia lies about where she was and tell them that her and and Allison skipped school to go  shopping .

 

* * *

 

Lydia’s currently sitting in at a lunch table with Allison, Scott, Stiles, Isaac, Erica and Boyd. They’re talking about how nothing ever happens in Beacon hills and it’s true. Usually when people say the word California people think of LA, but Beacon hills has got to be the most boring town in the world. If it was not for parties (which Lydia holds a lot of) she’d probably die of boredom but apparently there was a murder a few towns over so that’s the talk of the town.

 

“I tried to get information out of my dad about the murder, he says since he’s not the sheriff of their town he doesn’t actually know, though I doubt he’d tell me even if the murder was in our town. He’s so secretive about his cases.” Stiles sighs and Scott that laughs.

 

“That’s because it’s police work, you’re not suppose to tell people, Stiles.” Scott replies.

 

“Yeah but come on, don’t you think it would be cool if our town how some crazy-psychotic killer?” Stiles complains.

 

The sound of Lydia dropping her fork makes everyone turn to her. Lydia’s standing up glaring straight at Stiles.

 

“People with mental illnesses aren’t killers.” Lydia snaps, she leaning forward slightly which in Siles opinion makes her far more intimidating. “In fact people with severe mental illnesses like; bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or any disorder that has a psychotic element to it are far more likely to be victims to crime than non mentally ill people so don’t go around calling murder’s “ crazy-psychotic killers ” when you don’t even know if they are mentally ill because most killers aren’t. Most killers are white men in their late teens to thirties who feel entitled to the world and end up killing because they didn’t get what they want. By calling a murder crazy and psychotic you’re demonizing mental illness and furthering the stigma against mentally ill people therefore making it harder for mentally ill people to live their lives.” Lydia finishes and flips her hair over her shoulder before good measure before sitting back down in her seat and picking her fork up off the floor. 

 

“I...Uh...I didn’t...Know...Sorry.” Stiles stutters out. He looks ashamed. 

 

“Of course you didn’t. You’re willfully ignorant. If you actually did your research on murders and crimes you would have already known what I just told you.” Lydia shrugs and goes back to eating her lunch. Everyone’s still staring her.

 

“Are you okay?” Allison whispers. Lydia rolls her eyes. “I’m fine, Allison.” Her voice isn’t a whisper. She doesn’t care if the other’s hear. She  is fine. She just doesn’t take kindly to people who throw around words like “crazy” and “psychotic” when talking about murders because 

she’s not a murder just because she’s schizophrenic. Lydia’s surprised that she hasn’t actually snapped before today. It had always bothered her when people call murders crazy or psychotic and over the past few months it had started to bother her more and more.

 

Isaac is he next to speak. “Is everyone going to come to the game tonight?” 

 

“That depends, are any of you actually playing?” Erica counters raising an eye at Isaac who rubs at the back of his neck.

 

“Maybe if someone get’s injured?” He says but it sounds more like a question. Eric, Boyd, Allison and Lydia all break out into laughter.  Of course . Lydia thinks. The only time Scott, Stiles and Isaac ever get to play is when someone else on the team gets injured. They’re alternates after all.

 

“We’ll come.” Allison answers with a smile. They go to almost every game. It’s kind of a given that they’ll be there. The only reason Isaac asked was probably because he thought they needed a change of subject. Something more light hearted. 

 

They all talk about lacrosse for a while and it’s easy. Lydia’s glad for the change of subject.

 

 

* * *

 

Lunch ends a 15 minutes later and they all head to their classes. Lydia has chemistry with Allison.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Allison asks even though they’re suppose to be working on their group project.

 

“Yes, Allison. I’m okay. I said I was fine didn’t I?” Lydia raises an eyebrow, looking at Allison. She know the other’s just worried about her but she can’t help it when her voice holds a bit of bite.

 

Allison nods. “I know...It’s just...It was sort of obvious that Stiles upset you and you know he wouldn’t have said that if he know that you’re--.” Allison cuts herself off before she says schizophrenic, afraid that someone else might hear.

 

“Even if he doesn’t know he still shouldn’t be saying things like that. Like I said; he’s ignorant.” Lydia shrugs. “Don’t give me that look. I’m not going to tell him. I wasn’t even sure about telling you.” Lydia says her voice sounds a little sad at the end so Allison drops the subject of Stiles and the go back to working on their project. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the lacrosse game!! Will Lydia stay true to her words about not telling Stiles (+everyone else in their group) that she's schizophrenic?
> 
> I wrote some facts about mental illness in this chpt so here's a source for it if you'd like to read about it: about it http://depts.washington.edu/mhreport/facts_violence.php
> 
> oh and I fixed up spelling/grammar errors in the first 3 chpts :-) thank u to everyone who's reading this fic and leaving kudos <3


	5. Game night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles says sorry and Lydia says she loves Allison more than Erica.

After school Lydia and everyone else all go home only to return a few hours later for the game. 

 

Lydia met up with Erica, Allison, and Boyd at the bleachers. Scott, Stiles and Isaac were all on the field doing drills with the team before the game which basically meant that Stiles is getting hit with the ball repeatedly in the name of ‘ practice ’.

 

The game itself goes pretty smoothly. Beacon Hills is winning by a long shot. The  Desert Cactus don’t seem to have many good players, and one or two good players on their team isn’t going to be enough help them. Not when Beacon Hills is in the lead by six points.    
  


By half point Lydia is pretty sure that everyone is just waiting for the game to end. Even the  Desert Cactus have seem to have given up on trying to get goals. It’s a little sad actually.

 

Slumping in her seat a little Lydia glances at the big neon lights that say how much time is left.    
20 and 38 seconds.   
Great . She thinks to herself. She bored out of her mind and she has to sit her for another twenty minutes before she can go home.    
Lydia’s about to sigh when she feels someone come up behind her and tap on her shoulder. Turning her head she sees Stiles with an awkward expression on his face that can only be described as both nervous and terrified.

 

Lydia doesn’t say anything just raises an eyebrow at Stiles as if to ask  ‘What the hell do you want?’.   
  


“Can we talk?” Stiles asks and Lydia sighs but grabs her purse and climbs off the bleachers. Stiles leads her behind the bleacher where it’s a little less noisy.

 

“I’m sorry about today...At lunch y’know? I should have said that--I mean I didn’t even know all those facts! Which I guess means I don’t know as much about crime as I think I do-- I should really do more research...” Stiles mutters the last bit mostly to himself and Lydia thinks he’s done with his apology but then he starts talking again. “So yeah I wanted to say sorry if I hurt your feelings or something, since I made everything at lunch really  awkward, Isaac pretty much saved me by bringing up the game--Are you mad at me?” Stiles asks suddenly, staring at Lydia with wides eyes. 

 

Lydia was kind of hoping that Stiles--or really that anyone else wouldn’t bring up lunch. She knew that she could have told Stiles off in a much more tactful way but she had snapped…

 

“No I’m not mad at you.” Lydia says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Now go back to doing what you do best; sitting on the sidelines.” Stiles looks so relieved to hear that she’s not mad at him. He smiling like he’s just been given a second chance at life or something. 

 

“Aye Aye, captain!” Stiles says, giving Lydia a two finger salute before he runs back to the filed to go and sit beside Scott.    
  


Lydia waits a few minutes before going back to her seat on the bleachers.    
She wonders if maybe she should tell Stiles-- tell everyone but then again she doesn’t want to burden them. Allison obviously had no clue what to do when she had freaked out yesterday, Lydia remembers the look she had on her face when they were in the bathroom.    
She had looked so lost and confused...Lydia didn’t want to see that expression on anyone else's face.

 

Going back to the bleachers Lydia sits down in her place between Erica and Allison. 

 

“Did Stiles apologize?” Alison asks. Lydia nods. “Mhmm.” She hums. 

 

“Stiles texted me earlier today asking how he should apologize for lunch. He was debating on wether or not to get you chocolates I told him that he should just apologize sincerely.” Allison chuckles. They both knew that Stiles could go a little overboard when it came to her though Lydia was pretty sure Stiles crush on her was fading which she was glad about.

 

“You should have told him to go with the chocolates. I would have liked some.” Eric butts in.

 

“Like I’d share my apology chocolates with you.” Lydia rolls her eyes, making Eric grin at her. 

 

“You would so. You have a soft spot for me.” Erica says, elbowing Lydia in the side. Lydia shoves back at Erica because it's true she has a soft spot for Erica.    
Really she has a soft spot for all her friends.

 

“Whatever.” Lydia mutters and Eric wraps her arms around Lydia’s shoulders pulling her into a hug.    
  


“What’s that?” Erica asks. “You love me? Awww you’re so sweet.” Erica coo’s a smirk playing on her lips. Sometimes it amazes how much more confident Erica is.    
Last year she was just a nobody who no one really payed attention too and then she got a makeover and everything changed just like in one of those teen movies that they watched during their sleepovers. 

 

“You wish.” Lydia says but doesn’t fight Erica’s hug. “I like Allison way more than you.” She adds, both her and Erica are now looking over to Allison who’s just been watching them this whole time. Erica’s currently pouting, her head resting on Lydia’s shoulder.

“Don’t drag me into your fight.” Allison laughs but she’s not really sure if she can call this a ‘fight’. It technically just Erica teasing Lydia, “but Lyds you’ve known me longer.” Erica complains and Lydia shrugs once again.

 

“That may be true but Allison’s wouldn’t eat my hypothetical apology chocolates therefor I like her better.” Lydia stated making Alison smile.

 

Erica pretends to pout to a bit longer before all three of them settled down and went back to watching the game.  

 

As expected Beacon Hill’s win but since it was a Tuesday evening there was no celebration party after. Plus there wasn’t really a point in celebrating a game that they didn’t even have to try in to win so after the game everyone just goes home.   
Once Lydia’s back home and in bed ready to go to sleep her thoughts wander back to Stiles apology and what she had said about Allison (mostly she thinks about Allison).   
  


Lydia had been joking when she had said that she liked Allison better. Allison and Erica were both her best friends, she loved the two of them to bits but it was becoming more apparent to Lydia that she had a major crush on Allison.

 

Lydia had had crushes on girls before but she had never acted on them she would always let them pass and fade with time and the only really serious relationship she had ever been in was with Jackson which had crashed and burn a few months ago. They didn’t even talk anymore...   
  


Lydia didn’t think her feelings for Allison would just pass though not when she had almost said  ‘I love Allison more than you because she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met and every time we hangout I have to stop myself from kissing her’. 

 

Sighing to herself Lydia rubbed at her tired eyes before curling up further in her bed and trying to push all her thoughts and worries about Allison out of her head so she could go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't believe it's only tuesday in this fic next chpt will probably a time skip.  
> Also long time no update!   
> Hello everyone sorry I didn't write for like three week :/ oops I'll try to be more consistent with updates! I had a lot of fun writing this chpt so I hope you enjoyed it :^)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to make this as realistic as possible because I am mentally ill and deal with psychosis.  
> I will also be trying to make this as close to canon as possible(keep in mind I stopped watching teen wolf a little after Allison died) so if anyone want to give feed back that that's cool!  
> The first chapter is just getting things started.  
> I've never written a multi chpt fic so I hope this turns out okay :)


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